The thought hadn't occurred to me that I had cheated death until I was back in my van driving on the highway.

I had finally gotten the damned thing back from the shop after nearly a full week. I may say nasty things about the van, but if you ever try to separate us we'll both slowly die like little Elliot and E.T. I was in terrible shape by the time the guy at the garage called me and told me that the parts had finally arrived from the magical Land of Narnia and I could now come pick up my newly repaired vehicle. I had been riding my bike to work all week and this exciting news caused my already weary legs to buckle and I fell into a satisfied heap on the floor.

Once I had checked in and paid the bill I was told I could find the van in the back parking lot. I walked around back and gave my van a mean look, like I was a parent who had been called away from work because my child had set fire to his desk and was being held in the principal's office until I came to pick him up. I almost said, "I hope you're happy. Just wait until your mother finds out about this."

But the sad truth was that I couldn't stay mad at my van. I was relieved that I no longer had to ride my bike to work; although I promised myself I would continue doing it because it was, "Good for me." Being able to drive again made me realize how much I had missed it. I proceeded to do the chores I had been putting off (grocery shopping, trip to the Target across town) as well as a thorough test drive over Waltham's bumpiest roads (which is to say I avoided the single road in Waltham that wasn't bumpy). It was like we were old lovers, skipping through a flowery field hand in hand. Somewhere, someone was playing the song, "So Happy Together," (And it couldn't have been me because the radio in the van doesn't work either).

But tonight I made my way up I-95 and 93 like an old lady. I was shaken by the thought of the wheel falling off again while I was on the highway. Last time it was a side road, I was lucky. The odd tapping sound, no doubt related to the wheel falling off, had gone on for weeks. My wheel could have fallen off at any time, like doing 70 on the highway trying to stay ahead of the BMW crawling up my ass.

That's when I knew I had cheated death. The grim reaper sat next to me in the passenger seat tonight. I could feel his icy breath as he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Next time you won't be so lu- WATCH OUT FOR THAT BUMP!! Ha ha, got ya!"