I had the occasion to say something which, while totally justified, was going to make me sound like a jackass.

The plan was, “OK, have a good weekend. And paychecks are coming in on Monday, right?” With enough emphasis on “…right?” to state that I was displeased with my paycheck being two days late, and would thus not be getting to me until after the weekend now.

Aware that this might sound a bit petulant, I tried mixing it up and spinning it into a joke. I said, “Have a good weekend! I’ll see my money… er… you on Monday… he he.”

We both laughed, but I was acutely aware of how awful that sounded. “My money?” What the hell was I talking about? Was I going around breaking legs in lieu of interest on high-volume loans?

Objective: Jackass: Complete

Stupid? Yes.

Stupider than anything else I’ve said to my employer this week? Not really. It’s been a strange week.

I suppose the other major faux pas was when I sent an e-mail to the higher ups requesting, for the umpteenth time, that they send me a copy of this mythical employee handbook that they keep talking about: the one that outlines the policies on vacation time and sick days.

In desperation, related to certain misunderstandings and unpleasant revelations about the benefits package, I stated that if I did not have a copy of the employee manual by the end of the week, I would seriously consider looking for work elsewhere.

This was a mistake. Not because they called me on my bluff; they didn’t, whew. This was a mistake because I would never consider working anywhere else. I like this job very much. Considering what I went through in job hunting, this job was very hard to get. So long as they didn’t send ninjas to kill me in my sleep, I would not consider quitting this job.

Fortunately, they got me my manual, and they said how glad they are to have me and how they wouldn’t want to lose me. Whew x2!

That was stupid of me, but I kept learning things about the benefits package after the fact, and it would have been nice to have it outlined from the beginning.

I should have just kept my mouth shut this week.