Though most people are in agreement, I’ve taken a bit of flak from some of my male friends regarding my blanket statement that Hugh Hefner’s “Girlfriends,” are unattractive.

Don’t get me wrong. I respect Hugh. He’s the definition of class, and we are using the plural “girlfriends” here. Who can do better than that? But I think his choice in mates is very blind-sighted.

It would be difficult to describe them without falling into cliché. They are the typical big-breasted, platinum blonde bimbos. Some guys like that kind of thing, I know this. And maybe they’re not bimbos; maybe one of them has got a PHD.

But the fact remains, looking at them makes you feel hollow inside. Why?

Imagine looking over the statues in the Louvre in Paris. Find a statue of a nude goddess in a provocative pose. Then take a belt sander and grind away the outer layer of this statue until it is one smooth, unblemished form. Sand thoroughly until all traces of tone or uniqueness are gone, and then polish the statue until it has a glimmering shine. Pour bleach on the statue and let it fill all the tiny pores and nooks that may someday grow to cause the statue to show age or maturity. Then, start attaching new rocks to the chest area. These rocks need not be the correct size or color to make them look like a natural part of the statue. Apply an extremely thick coat of colored varnish to the face.

Now look at that, and tell me you don’t feel hollow…