I have an idea for a new invention. Hear me out on this one.

We’ve all been put on hold. Many times, we’ve been put on hold before we’ve even had the chance to talk to a real person. “Your call is important to us, please stay on the line and our next available representative will help you,” says the recording. It’s frustrating, it’s annoying, it’s downright unethical.

If you’re like me, you’re prone to speaking to the recording. When it interrupts your crappy music every ten seconds to remind you how important you are, it’s difficult to suppress a “Fuck you,” or “Shut up, bitch!”

So here’s my invention: a recording that responds to verbal abuse.

It would be responses you’d want to hear, things like, “You’re right. We all suck at this company.” Or maybe, “Yes, I know. I’m sorry I’m a bitch. Would you like to spank me?”

Imagine yelling, “Fuck you!” into the phone and then hearing a sexy female voice respond, “Yes! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!”

Believe me, when that customer service representative picks up, you’ll ask to be put back on hold.

And thus, the world became a better place.