I had the strangest dream the other night.

I dreamed that Howard Stern had died, and I followed his soul as it sank down to hell. I saw him wake up in a small room, in bed next to an ugly, disfigured woman. A deep voice spoke from out of the thin air, “Howard Stern! For all of your sins in life, you are damned to spend eternity with this woman!”

I turned away and clawed my way back from the depths of hell.

When I returned to earth, I discovered that Hugh Hefner had died. Suddenly, I saw his soul and followed it down to hell. He too woke up in a small room. He found himself in bed with a rough-skinned obese woman. The same voice spoke, “Hugh Hefner! For all your sins in life, you are dammed to spend eternity with this woman!”

I made another attempt to climb back out of hell, but just as I arrived back on earth, I felt a strange shock. I couldn’t describe it, but I knew what had happened. I had been killed. I felt my soul falling down into hell.

I woke up in a small room. I turned to find myself in bed with… Brooke Burke! Then, the mysterious voice said, “Brooke Burke! For all your sins in life…”