11:00
Well, another week, another paycheck, another 30% for taxes, another 20% for rent, another 20% for health insurance, another 25% for utilities, food, and student loan payments.

Actually, I just managed to lower my health insurance payments by $200 dollars. We can certainly file that under “F” for “Fuck YEA!”

It all started several months ago when I became my own independent graphic design firm. Without an employer to provide my health insurance I was forced to sign on for COBRA. COBRA is a sort of extension plan where you can continue using the health coverage through the workplace of a parent of guardian by paying the full monthly price. I won’t tell you exactly how much I was paying, but suffice it to say I was getting a monthly rectal exam without actually having to go to the doctor.

After making my payment for August I received a letter stating that the price was going up and I still had to pay the remainder for the month. I felt as though I had just donated two testicles and was being asked for a third. This was the final straw. I decided to explore my options through the National Association of the Self-Employed and managed to find a pretty comprehensive health plan for TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS LESS than what I was paying. I called up COBRA and instructed them to tell Cobra Commander to roll up my policy and smoke it because I’m bailing out and I want my money for August back.

It’s little moments of triumph like that that keep me going.

12:30
Addendum – Several minutes after publishing the above entry I was struck down with severe abdominal pain. I actually doubled over on the floor.

I called my mother, the nurse, and asked for her diagnosis. The obvious analysis was gas, but after two “Gas Aid” pills and several Tums the problem persisted. She reccomended that if the pain did not dissapate I should go to Urgent Care at the hospital down the road. My insides were on fire so I had no problem with this idea. Then I realized I had no insurance. Technically, my COBRA was never paid for August and my new insurance didn’t take effect until September 1st, just over 24 hours from now. I had managed to remain perfectly healthy for the thirty days I was uninsured. Tonight, on the eve of the 31st, the last day, I got sick. I laughed. It hurt, but I laughed. There is a God, and he fucking hates me.

45 agonizing minutes later it turned out to be gas. Possibly an adverse reaction to the pills the doctor had reccomended to me in order to, guess what, eliminate gas.

I'm still laughing.