Today I got new glasses. Actually, today I bought new glasses. The Russian woman with the comically thick accent made it very clear that there would be not "receiving" of glasses until the middle of next week. Quality crafted eyeglasses in about a week. That's what I get for getting an eye exam in the mall.

This is particularly distressing because my former glasses have come apart in a very special way. A way that cannot be repaired by any normal glass... smith... Anyway, it is a flaw that originated at the very begining of the glasses design process when no one thought to ask, "Well, what if this flimsy hinge breaks?" Or, if the question was asked, the response was, "Well, you're fucked. But we're going to make them anyway."

For the record, this is the second time this has happened. Right when I first got this particular pair of glasses the hinge on the right side popped off. "How did they fix it?" you ask. Well, they didn't. You've probably never noticed, but the earpiece on the right side of my head is completely different than the earpiece on the left. They replaced it with an earpiece they just happened to have left over. In retrospect, I should have asked for some of my money back, seeing as how I only have 65% of the frames I actually bought.

So I was browsing for new frames; very slowly, because I had to be no more than five inches away from to see any of them. The Russian lady handed me a pair which I liked quite a bit, but I kept looking anyway, just to see what my options were. Then she walked away to answer the phone and deal with a customer. When she rejoined me she chuckled and told me that, in her absence, I had been trying on children's frames. I had noticed they were small, but I thought it was a fashion preference.

Anyway, I bought the frames she gave me and found out it would take a few days to have them ready. She gave me a reciept and some Scotch tape to keep my old glasses together for the drive home. Man, I wish I could get contacts.