Today I was suddenly overcome by the fear of being killed by a falling palm tree. This might be the kind of thing to happen during a tropical hurricane, but inside an office building in New England during the winter, it would be cosidered a freak accident. Unfortunately, freak accidents are just the kind of thing that keep happening to me.

To add to the decor of the office, my company has purchased two palm trees. Each one has been placed at the center of two circles of folding tables on the main floor. At these folding tables there is only one worker. Me. Whenever I'm not nervously scanning the branches for diseased monkies, I look at these hefty tree closest to me and think, "Damn, if this this thing fell over I'd be fucked."

It seems reasonable to think that the heavy pot at the base of each tree has been designed and tested to prevent these trees from falling. Of course, I was also under the impression that the wheel on my van had been designed and tested not to fall off.

I've revised my will.