Two Dollars

I had the strangest dream last night.

I dreamed that someone had stolen my van, but they didn’t drive away in it, instead they waited outside the house until other cars drove by, and then rammed into the passing cars. I watched helplessly as cars were broadsided, rear ended, and smashed head on. I didn’t care much about my van, I was certain that now would be a great time to trade it in for another car. I was only angry, angry at the madman who was driving it.

Eventually he got tired of his game, or the van finally died on him, whichever. When he got out and went back to his own car, I confronted him. He told me that he was the paper boy. He was angry at my family because we weren’t acting more like the family he created in “The Sims” video game. There you have it, violence caused by video games. Forget Grand Theft Auto, the solvent that would destroy the bonds of society would, in fact, be The Sims. He told me that if we hadn’t raised our “need meter” and earned 100 more “simoleans” by the end of the week, he would do it again, and he’d be watching us.

The dream ended shortly thereafter. There was a stretch where I was trying to continue on with my life, after salvaging my car, and the paperboy kept following me.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I should probably cut back on the Mexican food.