I am a regular reader of “The Onion.” I hope most of you are too. If you haven’t read it, or if you haven’t read it recently, I suggest you click that link to your right and check in on it. These people are putting out the funniest content on the internet today.

I mention it today because I was reading my favorite section, the horoscopes, and I came across one of the best yet:

Sagittarius:
"You believed being stranded on that desert island put an end to your run of lousy luck, but the natives will soon become strangely inspired and fashion a crude bus to hit you with."

How do they come up with this stuff? After all these years of publication, how do they keep producing gems like this?

My role models, ladies and gentlemen.