I wrote this last Saturday but never posted it. I just forgot. It was funny at the time:

New England Central News
Home of the most accurate professional weather radar system on the east coast!

Tom: Good evening folks. Tonight, "Baby Dangling," officially a crime, says superior courts!

But first, here's Chuck with the weather. Chuck?

Chuck: ... (Chuck shrugs)

Fucked if I know, Tom!

Have you people been outside lately? It's insane! The sun is out, it's 48 degrees and it's raining. It's mid June. It was 90 degrees two days ago.

I'm not a religious man, Tom, but this is some Apocalyptic shit.

Our “mighty” radar system has short circuited. Currently, all consoles are locked up and all printers are printing, “Fuck this, I quit!” on all available paper.

The last satellite picture before the crash showed a warm front with more thunder storms coming in from the west, but we didn’t get a really good look at it, so it could be anything. I’m putting my money on locusts.

Back to you, Tom.