I truly despise the system of naming stadiums after their corporate sponsors. Places that once had character, location, and instant name recognition now operate under the label of the nationwide chains that support them. It’s really depressing. Sports fans or not, I’m sure you’re all with me on this.

Well, as some of you know, this corporate naming system has shrunk to a new, surprisingly stupid low. The name they have chosen for the Fisher Cats home stadium in downtown Manchester is, “Merchantsauto.com Stadium.”

I’ll repeat that for the stupidity-impaired. They have named our stadium after a website; a website for a company that sells cars, and just happens to have a website.

Now don’t get me wrong. I like Merchant’s Auto. I bought my car from them, and they are good, community minded people. But, at the very least, they could have considered “Merchant’s Auto Stadium.” No, they had to be as explicit as humanly possible to cover the lowest common denominator. They chose, “MerchantsautoDOTCOM Stadium.”

Shit, why stop there? Why not cover all your bases? Just to be sure, let’s call it “H-T-T-P Colon Backslash Backslash W-W-W Merchantsauto.com Stadium!”

But what about those people who don’t have computers? Yes, they are few in number, but as long as we’re catering to everyone, why not try some double billing with “Buy A Computer At Best Buy and Type http://www.merchantsauto.com in Your Web Browser Stadium.”

Granted, it’s an effective marketing ploy. Even as I rant about the absurdity of it, I’ve mentioned the web site enough to make some of you go, “Well, how good is this website anyway? I better check it out.” But, as I’ve said, I have nothing against the company.

So go, check it out. And if they ask, tell them JonathanEHoysradt.com sent you.