The fundamental complaint I have about this “DinnerDate4Eight” service is that they seem to be having trouble finding seven other people. Granted, I don’t know how the system works; maybe they don’t accept just any old loser. But, that would be ignoring the fact that they have accepted me.

The concept is cool. Four men and four women are put together for dinner. Although all parties are single, there is no pretense of dating or romance; it’s just a social gathering and whatever happens happens. We might discuss the merits of economic reform. We might have a staring contest. Some of us might exchange numbers. There may be a fist fight. Whatever.

But the fatal flaw of this casually entertaining plan is the absence of eight people.

There was a brief questionnaire when I signed up. The questions were basic and broad; “How old are you?” “What are a few of your hobbies?” “Are you Anna Nicole Smith?” I might have made up that last one, it’s been several weeks since I filled it out and I can’t remember what all the questions were. Anyway, it was noted that they would try to group us with people of similar age / interests / species.

Over the weeks I sent the occasional e-mail asking the 4Eight people how the search was going, and letting them know that I’d settle for a DinnerDate4Six. I’m considering asking them to cut corners, maybe just set me up with two women at a Taco Bell, but I’m not sure if they’ve got some motto or policy or some shit.

They’ve responded with kindness, and maybe a subtext of pity, telling me that it’s impossible to know exactly when they’ll get the right people together. Which is funny when you think about it: that’s the reason I signed up in the first place.