I went to rent a mediocre horror movie tonight and I accidentally rented an awful horror movie. This could only happen at Blockbuster.

I wanted to rent “Venom.” And that is what I thought I did, until I got home and realized I had picked up the box for “7 Mummies.”

I was disappointed. I uttered some discouraging words.

I had picked up the box behind the display copy of “Venom.” It was my own fault that I didn’t think to read the box, making sure that it was the same movie. I simply assumed that the world wasn’t out the get me. But, it was.

It wasn’t the store’s fault; they couldn’t possibly keep track of that kind of thing at all times. The only other person blame would be the jackass who put it there, deciding at the last minute that they wanted to rent “Venom” instead of “7 Mummies,” but didn’t feel like making the trip again from “V” to “7.”

So basically, I’m stuck with it. It’s already late, and I can’t return it because I have no proof that “7 Mummies,” isn’t what I wanted, other than the fact that it’s a piece of shit.

Allow me to elaborate. I knew almost nothing about “7 Mummies,” besides the fact that it was direct-to-video and even the “blazing” and “exciting” marketing copy on the back of the box couldn’t cover up the underlying stench of failure in filmmaking. But that was several trips ago. “7 Mummies” has been sitting in the New Release section for weeks, perhaps in the hopes that someone might rent it based solely on the fact that it was new.

I decided to pop the disc in and see if there were any trailers for it; you know, find out if it might be worth watching in a “diamond in the rough,” kind of way. Lo and behold, there was a trailer. It sucked, but it hinted that there might be titties in the movie. I was still undecided. I consulted the internet.

While “Venom” is supposed to be a low budget horror film with mixed reviews, “7 Mummies” is a low budget horror film with universally bad reviews. The average user rating on the Internet Movie Database is 1.8 out of 10 which, even for a schlocky horror film, is scraping the bottom of the barrel. It was somehow disqualified from the bottom 250, which is a shame, because if it was on there, it would tie “Troll 2” for lowest rated movie in the entire database.

So now it sits on my shelf, looking unappealing and dangerous, like a radioactive turd. I’ll return it tomorrow knowing that even though I paid to rent it, I didn’t even want to watch it. Damn.