Oh man, I dug up some winners in the want ads today:

Early Childhood Teacher
At that age you really don't know enough to teach. Unless, like, you want to impart your wisdom of crayons and edible objects.

Food Demonstrator
And this end goes in your mouth...

Front End Operator
Wouldn't that include anyone who knows how to go to the bathroom?

Tree Specialist
These are the people who know if it makes it sound when it falls.

Dump Driver
They must have seen my car.