I wish I could say I was a bit more sentimental about cleaning out the van for the last time. It wouldn’t have hurt to show my sensitive side and shed a tear or two for the van that’s been in my family for the better part of my life.

I did, in fact, feel sad, but then I thought back on the two and a half years I’d owned the thing; about the time the engine died 65 miles from home, the three times in one month when I brought it to the dealer to fix the same stalling problem, the $500 tune up last summer, the night all the break fluid leaked out, the time the tire fell off while I was driving it, the $900 break job last February, the $300 engine mounts that I didn’t need, the constant slow leaking of oil, the “Maint Req’d,” light that stayed on for two years, and the break down in the blizzard last Tuesday. At that point I turned to the mechanic and asked if he needed help, like, smashing the windows or anything.