My father asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I put quite a bit of thought into it and came up with a very modest list. A little too modest, I think. I mean, it was stuff I wanted (Resident Evil 4, and the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Vol. 2. I may be aging, but I sure ain’t growing up), but it seemed to lack the far flung desires of a man who was being offered gifts just for being born. I wished I could ask for something more profound, but nothing came to mind. I’m not looking for any new furniture or appliances, I’ve got all the clothes I need, world peace isn’t really a valid birthday gift these days. The only thing that popped into my head was a mail order bride, but that’s such a crap shoot. Plus, I know how hard it is to fit those big Yugoslavian girls into those little UPS boxes.