Things are going good lately. I know that life is not much different than before I got the new car, but my mood has been good, and I’m doing my best to maintain that feeling. I wish I could bottle it up for life’s inevitable “downs,” that are always preceded and then followed by life’s “ups.” You know how it is, ups and downs, strikes and gutters. (So sayeth The Dude). All I know is that I feel good now, and I like it, so I’ll stick with it. However, that won’t stop me from complaining now and then (especially when I think I can get a laugh)…

My mother had a neighborly chat today with the people next door. They’re nice people.

After shooting the breeze for a while, she tactfully brought up the topic of their spastic barking hell-beast of a dog. She was just as upset as I was by his high pitched, constant, machine-gun-like barking episodes.

Our neighbors acknowledged the problem and apologized profusely. Like I said, they’re nice people.

They’ve been trying. Apparently, the dog in question wears a special collar designed to humanely treat dogs with excessive barking issues. As I’m told, the collar emits a small shock to the dog every time he barks. It seems like a fantastic idea to me; however, this has failed to teach him to stop barking.

Allow me to restate that. I think it bears repeating. HE IS BEING ELECTROCUTED EVERY TIME HE BARKS, AND YET HE CONTINUES TO BARK!! He is generating enough electricity to jump start a car, yet he refuses to shut the hell up.

Allow me to demonstrate what is apparently going on in this dog’s mind:

BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW! BARK!...OW!...BARK…OW!...

I’m a humane person. I care about the wellbeing of animals big and small. I’m pro-animal, I think they’re cool. But there can be exceptions.