City of Heroes

Registrar: Hello, and welcome to Paragon City! How may I help you today?

Jon: Hi, I’d like to become a super hero.

Registrar: Oh, another super hero, how… wonderful. Well then, let’s start with your origin.

Jon: Well, I’m from New Hampshire, I went to school at…

Registrar: No no no, your super hero origin.

Jon: Oh, um, I was bitten by a radioactive spider.

Registrar: ZZZZ ::snork:: oh, I’m sorry, I must have been overcome by boredom there. What was that you said?

Jon: Well, uh… my um… my mother was a… radioactive spider.

Registrar: ZZZZ Wha, or sorry, did you say spider?

Jon: … ferret… my mother was a radioactive ferret.

Registrar: Now we’re talking! So what’s your power?

Jon: I can leap buildings in a single bound!

Registrar: ZZZ

Jon: Super speed?

Registrar: I’ll tell you what, wait here and I’m going to go get some people from the D.C. Comics legal department and you can tell them what your powers are.

Jon: No, wait! I can… um… shoot blasts of… ice from my fingertips.

Registrar: Hmm, not bad. It’s been done before, but not very well. Now, are you male or female?

Jon: Excuse me!? Can’t you tell? I’m all man, baby.

Registrar: You can be a male or female superhero, regardless of your real life gender. You can pick either one, it makes no difference in regards to strengths and weaknesses.

Jon: Oh, well then, I guess I’ll try being a female.

Registrar: ::snicker::

Jon: Is there a problem with that?

Registrar: No no. No problem, ::giggle:: Now, um, what will m’ lady be called?

Jon: … how about… Arctica?

Registrar: Taken.

Jon: Anne Arctica.

Registrar: Taken

Jon: Ice Queen, Lady Freeze, Blue Ice

Registrar: Taken, taken, and oh, wait… nope, taken.

Jon: Lady… Arctica?

Registrar: Congratulations, sir, you are now Lady Arctica!

Jon: Thank you. Well, I guess I’ll go out and start fighting crime.

Registrar: Ahem. Not dressed like that you’re not.

Jon: What’s wrong with my clothes?

Registrar: Those jeans, those sneakers; hardly befitting of Lady Arctica! Here, try these.

Jon changes into a slinky leather outfit with thigh-high boots.

Jon: Um… I don’t think I’m comfortable with this.

Registrar: You’ve made your decision, if you’re going to play the part of Lady Arctica, you must look like Lady Arctica.

Jon: But this leather thong is seriously riding up on me, and this corset keeps slipping down and exposing my nipples. How am I supposed to fight crime like this?

Registrar: Such is the price a female hero must pay. Now get out there and bring some justice to this lawless city!

Jon walks out, constantly adjusting the outfit so that his crotch area doesn’t pop out.