I’ve been thinking about my school days ever since I had that weird dream (let’s call it a nightmare) about the nudist colony.

Mostly I think about the things I should have said or done that I didn’t say or do.

That’s an awful thing; obsessing over the past like that. It can ruin a person, worrying about the things you can’t ever change. We cannot re-record or erase what has happened; we can only learn to live with it, learn from it, and use it to make us better people. That’s my theory anyway. I could be a complete crackpot.

But still, when my mind wanders, I’ve been thinking about classes I wish I’d paid more attention in. Things I wish I’d said to those girls I’d had crushes on. People that needed a solid punch in the face. That comes up a lot. I wish I’d stood up for myself more often. For every time someone made fun of me or called me names, I’ve come up with a great comeback; but usually long afterwards, sometimes years (Just yesterday, I came up with the world’s greatest retort to a name someone called me in 6th grade. I really want to use it. I’m thinking of looking that guy up and giving him a call).

In the absence of a quick response, I kind of wish I just kicked a few people in the balls. But, I’m not that kind of person, never was.

I think people are hard-wired to see the bad in things, at first anyway. I think that’s why, when I started thinking about school again, I focused only on my regrets. I’ve begun to think more about the things that went right and the things I accomplished. In retrospect, I think they outweigh my regrets by a HUGE margin. The fact of the matter is that I’m here today; I haven’t resorted to a life of crime, I have my friends (that’s you), and I like to think of myself as a very open-minded person.

I think that’s a good outcome, especially considering that time I got nailed in the nuts by a kickball.

P.S. - Kate, please read my last comment on the post below.