Me: “Hello?…… Hello?…”
Them: “Hello, Jonathan.”
“Um… yea, hi. Who’s this?”
“This is Rob from the American Veterans Association.”
“Oh.”
“How are you this evening, sir?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I’m calling in regards to the blah blah blah yakkity smackity, and we were hoping that you would be willing to make a donation.”
“But, I’ve already….”
“We can send the form out to you right away and if you can send it back to us within three weeks that would be great.”
“No, I mean I’ve already donated.”
“That’s not possible, we’ve just started this drive this morning.”
“I made a donation to the American Veterans Association in November.”
“Well, this is the 2004 fundraiser.”
“… but, it’s January 6th.”
“Can we count on you for a donation, sir?”
“Um… look, I’ve already contributed, money is tight right now, I really can’t give anything.”
“We can send you the form and you can think it over for three weeks before making your donation of as little as $25.”
“Alright, fine, whatever.”
“Excellent, thank you for your sacrifice. I’m going to transfer you to our mailing department so we can verify your address… NICOLE, PICK UP THE PHONE!”
Them: “Hello, I’m Nicole, can I verify that your address is XXXXXX”
Me: “Um, yea.”
“And how much are you planning to donate.”
“Well, I told the other guy that I really can’t afford much of anything. In fact, I’ve changed my mind, I really can’t donate anything right now.”
“We can put you down for 25 dollars.”
“Look, I really can’t…”
“Twenty.”
“I’m not bidding here, I just can’t do it right now.”
“It’s tax deductible.”
“Oh for… alright, just send the paperwork.”
“Alright, we’ll be sending you the bill for $25 and you have a nice day. CLICK”
“Fuck heads.”