I was having a conversation with Andy today and he made a joke about inflatable women. I laughed, but on the inside I shuddered. The honest truth is... inflatable women scare the living shit out of me.

If you haven't seen one, just imagine a life sized ventriloquist dummy that looks like it's about to hurl. Dosen't just picturing that make your skin crawl?

I've seen one once. I had stopped in an adult video store to ask for directions to the church. I just turned around and there it was. I wish I could say it didn't phase me, but I freaked the hell out. I staggered backwards with a look of horror on my face (kind of like the look on the doll). Suddenly I felt dirty and nauseous. It not only made me feel bad about being in an adult video store, it made me feel bad about sex in general. I left the store as quickly as I could.

I will forever carry the scars with me.